fvming:

"You don’t have many followers"

Jesus only had 12

(Source: fvming)


dosopod:

“you don’t look depressed though”

oh yeah sorry i forgot to bring my literal dark cloud with me today


fireyturtle:

nicelanderenzeru:

ruraljackdaw:

Hugging shorter people and resting your head on theirs

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Hugging taller people and having your head against their chest

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Hugging people your height and pressing your face against their shoulder

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Hugging people and getting picked up by them

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HUGGING

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Not having people to hug

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Giving a hug that comes off as weird

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This post describes me in every way

(Source: alcomol)


codeinewarrior:

*walks into starbucks* lemme get uh spaghetti bolognese macchiato

"sir we don’t serve that"

don’t bullshit me i saw the secret menu on instagram


highbrowandbeard:

THIS IS MY NEW FAVOURITE LINE

(Source: logotv)



claydols:

hello 911? somebody reblogged my post on tumblr.com and said “i cant breathe”. i think i killed someone. i would like to turn myself in

(Source: basedgosh)



me as a pedestrian: [catwalks slowly across street as 90 cars pile up behind each other trying to turn; throws modelesque glance backwards over designer shades] [car inches into crosswalk] HOW DARE YOU COME WITHIN FIVE FEET OF ME!? I HAVE THE FUCKING RIGHT OF WAY??? SEE YOU IN COURT YOU CAPITALIST, PLANET-DESTROYING SCUM
me driving: say your prayers

(Source: rouxx)